This past week my family has experienced an unspeakable grief. I was confused and almost angry. I kept saying to god, how do you expect us to get through this. A mother should never have to experience losing her son, my Grandma should never have to experience losing her grandson. God, why is he gone? Why did you not touch him in that moment, just whisper in his ear not to do it.
What brings me the most pain is knowing how much pain my brother must have been in to do this. Thinking about him and how he must have been feeling makes it so I can't even breathe sometimes.
How God? How are we to get through this?
Then I heard this song by Jeremy Camp. It reminded me of that oh, so well know verse, that Jesus is the way. And only by continuing to look to his face and who he is will we find our comfort.
Some may say that Ben was wrong in doing what he did. Because in a way he took his life into his own hands instead of God having his way with him, But although Ben may have had a few rough past few years he was always such a role model for me, in his walk with Christ. And although this may not have been the most natural way to go, God let him go. God let him do it. It was God's will.
"No one understand the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil." (Isaiah 57:1) Ben deserved to be taken and spared. And as much as it hurts, we can't be selfish in wanting him to still be here. Ben was a believer, and I just as firmly believe that he is in a better place with someone who will continue to take care of and love him much more than we ever could.
Ben you are loved so much and will be missed just as much.
What brings me the most pain is knowing how much pain my brother must have been in to do this. Thinking about him and how he must have been feeling makes it so I can't even breathe sometimes.
How God? How are we to get through this?
Then I heard this song by Jeremy Camp. It reminded me of that oh, so well know verse, that Jesus is the way. And only by continuing to look to his face and who he is will we find our comfort.
Some may say that Ben was wrong in doing what he did. Because in a way he took his life into his own hands instead of God having his way with him, But although Ben may have had a few rough past few years he was always such a role model for me, in his walk with Christ. And although this may not have been the most natural way to go, God let him go. God let him do it. It was God's will.
"No one understand the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil." (Isaiah 57:1) Ben deserved to be taken and spared. And as much as it hurts, we can't be selfish in wanting him to still be here. Ben was a believer, and I just as firmly believe that he is in a better place with someone who will continue to take care of and love him much more than we ever could.
Ben you are loved so much and will be missed just as much.
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